Marcus Aurelius

But among the things readiest to thy hand to which thou shalt turn, let there be these, which are two. One is that things do not touch the soul, for they are external and remain immovable; but our perturbations come only from the opinion which is within. The other is that all these things, which thou seest, change immediately and will no longer be; and constantly bear in mind how many of these changes thou hast already witnessed. The universe is transformation; life is opinion. This is pretty moving to me. I look at this quote and it brings to my attention that I am in control as to how everything and everyone affects me. I have allowed myself to get hurt and it's only on me as to how I feel about everything. When I let her affect my emotions, when I let my craving for love consume me I lost track of my own self. I can not let my emotions control me, but I should still listen to what they have to say. I am by no means perfect, and Ill never be, but in order to continue pursuing tranquility and peace within myself, I can not let other people and events sway my mind. I am not an animal that craves a constant stream of happiness or attention. I will not let the animal control me. I owe Linda nothing and she owes me nothing. I am responsible for my actions and reactions just as she is responsible for hers. I haven't looked at her tumblr or twitter in 11 days now. I don't need to. I don't need to know what is going on in her life because I only should worry about myself and seek self improvement. It doesn't mean that I don't think about her a lot, but I'm thinking of her less and less everyday. My mind feels clear and is sharp. If its something I crave then I am letting myself down by giving in. Until I no longer care one way or another then I am not ready to face it. I plan to look back on my life when I am on my deathbed and enjoy it a second time from my memory.