This isn't my world. DISSAPOINTED!

So I've said I fell for a girl I met online. I never meant to and I don't believe in long distance relationships. I posted that she broke up with her boyfriend. I posted that she started school. Since even before she broke up with him she had started to talk to me less and less. Which is fine of course, as she is her own person and I am not reliant on other people to make me happy. Anyway I am disappointed in myself because I haven't been able to get over her. It is starting to become clear that she probably doesn't want anything to do with me. It hurts, but I'll get over it. Now for the past couple weeks I have been available for her to talk to and she hasn't been talking to me. The irrational part of my brain is saying she is done with me and the rational part says she wants space. So I act on the rational part of my brain and only text her every once in a while and I'm not mad or upset she doesn't text me back. She has a life outside of me and I've accepted that. However now the irrational part of my brain that says she either broke up with him for a short term and got back to gether with him, or she never broke up with him in the first place has proven it has some merit. I see she is going out to lunch with him tomorrow. I'm not upset she is still with him(if she even is) I am more upset that she hasn't said anything to me. I wanted to talk to her last weekend about it but she told me she didn't want to talk so I respected her wishes. Maybe I shouldn't have who knows. I didn't chat with her about it on texts(which she has been texting me a tiny bit more) because it is too personal and I don't want my words to come out in the wrong light. She called my texting number, which I couldn't answer, and she didn't say anything about it after she texts me. So I am disappointed in myself and I am disappointed in her. I thought I knew more about her, I guess I was wrong. She had an issue with friends only lasting one year and then disappearing from her life...I think its the other way around now. Yeah, I miss the fuck out of talking to her. I miss being mentally and spiritually intimate with her. I'll have to find someone else I suppose. Maybe she will eventually break up with him, but he is a constant in her life, even if he isn't good for her. He manages his life based on her reactions AFAIK. A man should never be that reliant on a woman. He is a boy, she is a girl, and I am a man. She will be in my heart forever as she is the first girl I've ever felt this way for, but she won't be in my mind. I won't let another person influence me to that extent.